A Tale of Two Lemons

“People seldom read a book which is given to them. The way to spread a work is to sell it at a low price.”

- Samuel Johnson

Once upon a time, authors wrote books. Period.

They wrote and wrote and wrote, and then they handed over the pages to Someone Else, and while the authors got back to writing, Someone Else took care of the details that ensured the pages turned into books, and that the books found their way to readers. Now authors are doing more and more in the way of getting their books to readers. It’s called marketing.

I’ve been beavering away, trying different things. Which is why I am so pleased to announce the winner of the Lemons Draw! First I must thank those of you who sent such great entries, attaching “She marvels at the lemons” to favourite literary openers. I had submissions from around the globe, wildly imaginative and a great indication of the types of readers out there. What a great way to test the waters and to celebrate the anniversary of my little blog.

The winner is… Shirley, from South Africa:

“The 12-person dinner party loomed; the dishwasher died; she marvelled at the lemons.”

Congratulations, Shirley! Your signed copy of Harbour View is in the mail.

Here are a few others that caught my eye:

“There were monkeys in the kitchen and she marvelled at the lemons.” (Speaks for itself)

“It was a dark and stormy night and she marvelled at the lemons.” (And then her breath came in little short pants – how’s that for cheesy writing?)

“Some years ago – never mind how precisely – having little or no money in her purse, she marvelled at the lemons.” (Hint: “Call me Ishmael”)

“All children, except one (he who marvels at the lemons), grow up.” (In this case, one who won’t grow up. ‘Nuff said.)

“She marvelled at the lemons as each fell heavily from the tree and made an assertive dunch in the loose soil below.” (I made the corporate decision that literary references could be far-reaching)

A bit of Ginsberg never hurt anyone:

“Howl”: I saw the best minds of my generation destroyed by madness, starving hysterical naked, dragging themselves through the negro streets at dawn looking for an angry fix, angelheaded hipsters burning for the ancient heavenly connection to the starry dynamo in the machinery of night, and marvelling at the lemons.”

What sort of contest would this be without a Hugh MacLennan submission?

“He had been walking around Halifax all day, as though by moving through familiar streets and marvelling at the lemons he could test whether he belonged here and had at last reached home.” (Hint: Barometer Rising) (Some hint, I know…)

And finally, from the Bard himself:

“Alas, poor Yorick, she marvelled at the lemons” – Wm. Shakeslemons

This has been great fun. Thanks again for joining in.

More business:

1. Harbour View is here! Please see my Harbour View page if you’d like to order a signed copy.

2. Dear Reader can find me on Facebook (see tab below).

3. Should Dear Reader be interested in joining my blog mailing list, please send me a note through my Contact page.

Soon I’ll be able to put my writers’ hat back on and live happily ever after. In the meantime, this is kind of fun.

The end.

Categories: General.