High Anxiety

“Though an angel should write, still ’tis devils must print.”

- Thomas Moore

You would not believe the dreams flying around inside my sleeping head lately.

When I’m hot on the trail of a story, my subconscious flits about in a lively manner, bringing the strangest things to the surface.  Of late there have been a couple of dreams involving tragic little girls in ordinary situations made unbearably painful simply by dint of their being tragic little girls. Then there was the dream about a fork. Nothing more to it than that: a fork.

I try not to think about the meaning of my dreams; for one thing I feel they ought to be respected for what they are and left alone, and for another, let’s face it: I’m not too deep.

However, during one particularly busy night this week I was visited by two rather classic anxiety dreams, one after another, reflecting two large elements of my life, music and writing.

In Dream #1, I arrived backstage to play a concert ten minutes before the downbeat only to discover that, while I was suitably attired from the waist down in a long black skirt and heels, from the waist up I wore a bright green blouse and  – here’s the kicker – no lipstick! I raced around backstage like a headless chicken while MJ, our eminently sensible, prepared-for-anything stage manager, found me a black T-shirt. However, neither of us was prepared for the discovery that the black T-shirt had somehow been tie-dyed in brilliant colours reminiscent of the Land of Oz, and would be no more suitable in a sea of orchestra blacks than my bright green blouse. Downbeat was now seconds away, and still no lipstick. Crisis.

In Dream #2, I found myself approaching Page 100 of my novel manuscript, typing like a fury, story flowing from my fingers in the white heat of a creative moment. When I went to save the file, no matter how I approached it, it would not save, would not print. Crisis, mayhem, disaster! I awoke in a cold sweat, gnashing and flailing.

Regarding Dream #1, there are no words (apart from M.A.C. “Captive”).

As for Dream #2, I welcome any suggestions on how to manage my growing manuscript before I have a nervous breakdown and lose the whole thing. Immediately would be perfect. Thank you.

Categories: General.